Monday, July 13, 2009

Monday Mischief: A Big Hug and Kiss

I promise to resume my normal blogging tomorrow and cease with the spilling-of-my-guts! But, today I just wanted to send out a big hug and kiss to all of my friends and readers who did not take my "fishing" for feedback as a sign of weakness, but rather took it as an opportunity to share our experiences as bloggers and fellow humans -- both the pitfalls and the fulfilling bits! I am feeling very at peace today about the whole thing, and feel much more connected and in-tune with my readers and fellow bloggers.

xoxo

I rarely allow myself to indulge or pay attention to negative emotions relating to my blog [it's supposed to be fun, right?]. But, what I found is that with the freedom and creativity that blogging brings you, a certain sense of ownership and dedication follows. It is this sense of passion and ownership that is often not translated to those outside of the blog-world. What results can often be a feeling of alienation or a sense that other people around us don't care or understand what an important part of our lives blogging is -- we work hard to create, research, organize, compile, collect, think, ponder, search, and explore -- but for those who do not read or write blogs, this does not necessarily come across or make sense. I have had so much excellent, productive feedback over the past few days, and I just wanted to share some suggestions people have given for how to deal with this issue of our blog-lives not interacting harmoniously with our real-lives:
  • Other folks talk about their lives, their interests, and their work, so when people ask about us about ourselves, we should talk about what we have been working on, blog included [seems obvious, right?].
  • When we write something that we think someone we know might find interesting, instead of waiting for them to read it on the blog and give feedback [which I've learned lots of people hate to do], e-mail them the link -- this makes it feel more personal anyway.
  • Just try to remember that for every one person who leaves a comment, there are probably a hundred who do not...but that doesn't mean there aren't people out there who didn't get something meaningful from a post.
  • Learn to appreciate the anonymity that blogging can provide -- it is a platform to share another part of ourselves that we might keep hidden away otherwise; this can be very cathartic and fulfilling.
  • Or on the other hand, just tell friends and family how important your blog is to you! They might not realize it unless you explain it. If you are kind enough to ask them about their jobs, their child, their hobby, their work, then they should be polite enough to ask about or check in on your blog every now and again!
  • Remember why you started your blog to begin with -- was it for personal fulfillment? To create a new community? Sometimes we just have to remember that not everyone in our lives can be there for us in every way...different people fulfill different needs, and just because they don't "get" what you blog about doesn't mean they don't love you!
  • Reach out to people [I'm so happy that I did]. This can actually draw you closer -- sharing your feelings and your anxieties makes you more human and creates a sense of intimacy. You discover that other people deal with many of the same issues and difficulties...and it makes you feel less alienated.
  • Follow the "do unto others" motto: the more you share, comment, conversate, show interest, and give feedback to others [both in blogging and in life], the more you will receive.
  • Lastly, remember that your blog is not "you." This constructed identity [no matter how honest we are on our blogs] is not the real YOU. It is only one fragment of us and our complexities as people. Do not allow the constructed "you" to stand in or represent your true self.
Well loves, here's to many more years of blogging to come...

Friday, July 10, 2009

A Conundrum...and an [Embarrassing] Plea for Feedback

This post might seem a little strange since I always try keep this blog positive and to leave out my personal problems. I started this blog with the intention of finding a platform for my passions and creative curiosities and not as a place to complain, whine, vent, or divulge [though those type of blogs have their place as well]. However, recently I have found myself feeling strangely sad and alienated, and I was hoping to get some feedback from my wonderful readers, because I know many of you are also bloggers, writers, researchers, artists, and aesthetes...and maybe some of you have had similar issues or thoughts?

When I first started this blog [a year ago!] it was an experiment. I had no idea how long it would last or how devoted I would become. As it turns out, it has been amazing, inspiring, fun, enlightening...and tons and tons of work! I have made friends with so many interesting and talented people from around the world. Sometimes I wish I had a magic wand and could make all of my incredible blog-friends appear right here, all at once, and that we could all sit around drinking tea and chatting about strange, beautiful things!

I guess that is kind of where the alienating part comes in though: while I have so many fellow "virtual" compatriots, I don't actually feel like I have anyone in my life to share many of my interests with. Now don't get me wrong, I have a wonderful boyfriend and fantastic friends, but very few people I actually know look at or give me feedback on my blog. So, I often feel like I have this separate little box that I keep my passions in, and when I'm around friends or family, I just set it aside, because I sense that it is not of interest to them.

My boyfriend reminded me the other day that I did not start this blog in order to create a stronger bond between myself and the people already in my life, but rather as a way to cultivate a new community of people out in the world that have similar interests. While he has a good point, I guess I just assumed subconsciously that the people I am close to would automatically take interest, because it was something that was important to me. What I did not foresee happening was that I would become so passionately attached and serious [in a good way] about the work and ideas I share here every week or that my blog would become such an important part of me, my daily life, and my self-perception. Because of that, I find myself taking it personally that no one I know seems 'impressed' or 'interested' by what I do [this is a Leo trait, LOL!]. While that is slightly embarrassing for me to admit, I feel that it is a legitimate feeling and I have to at least acknowledge that it is there [if not, at least, to overcome it].

So, I guess my question begins here: have any of you had these same issues or these same confusing feelings of fulfillment on the one hand mixed with alienation on the other? Is it reasonable to want the people close to me to take interest and give feedback or should I just come to peace with the idea that this project is a separate endeavor from my day-to-day life?

I feel as if on one end, if I continue to maintain this blog and delve deeper and deeper into my particular interests, that I will just feel more and more sad that I don't have a person in my life to appreciate and share my ideas with, but on the other hand, I feel as if I ignore this part of myself that I will just become disconnected, fake, boring, and unfulfilled. What a ridiculous conundrum!

Thanks so much for your kindness if you read this...I look forward to hearing your thoughts!

Cheers,
Tara

Weekend Reads: Links to the Strange and the Beautiful

What are you up to this weekend? It is my friend Melanie's birthday [Happy B-Day Mel!], and we're heading to the lake to celebrate. I'm excited to lounge in the water and enjoy the outdoors with friends...

* I am going to: relax and try to stop being so negative [long story, I've been quite emotional this week...]
* I need to: list more items in my Etsy shop -- I'm so behind!
* I hope: to finally go see "Public Enemies." Two words: Johnny Depp.
I wish: I could hang out with my sister Lindsay and my brother Jared -- they both live so far away, and I miss them like crazy.
* I will probably forget to: make phone calls. I can be very phone-phobic sometimes.

Here are some links for those spare moments you might have this weekend. Pour a glass of wine, sit back, and browse:



The Butterfly Effect blog is cool and quirky, but the links to image archives [on the right side] hold a treasure-trove of vintage images that will keep you busy for hours at a time!

♥ Need a new summer read? Here's a really fun tool -- get interesting, new book recommendations at The Book Seer.


♥ My boyfriend loves Buster Keaton, so I couldn't resist the cuteness of Buster Keaton-inspired style at Refinery 29.

♥ It's less of a "read" and more of a shopping experience at Shoes and your mom.


♥ I'm a sucker for creepy old ruined buildings, and the abandoned man-made ruins at Artificial Owl are mesmerizing...I just want to sneak around in them looking for ghosts!

♥ Forget Youtube! Check out amazing vintage news, images, and film shorts at British Pathe.


♥ Check out news and reviews on fragrances from around the world at the perfume blog 1000 Fragrances.

♥ Well-written, academic Fashion articles on Fashion+Film tackle historical and cultural topics relating to clothing and costume.


♥ One of my childhood favorites --Drawings from the the "Wind in the Willows" series on BibliOdyssey.

♥ Fascinating photo collages of favorite collectibles by Dragonfly on Flickr -- you'll want to copy this idea!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

"I have always thought of sophistication as rather a feeble substitute for decadence" : Bally, Fall 2009

If you have a tendency toward the decadent, then you will probably agree that the Fall 09 Bally collection comes quite near utter perfection. A mix of the glamorous 30's and the over-the-top 80's, the collection features a mix of velvet, lace, brocade, fur, gold embellishments, and oversized jewelery. Staring at these images is not helping my sudden Fall-fashion fixation...I keep imagining how I can pull off these looks on a budget. *Sigh*...






Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Current Obsession: Lace-Up Ankle Boots

I just realized that I'm starting to think about Fall fashion already. Oh, why can't we just live in the fashion-moment? Because that's no fun! I am getting the vibe that this Fall/Winter is going to be all about Victorian touches [for me anyway]. I'm starting to crave things like long military coats with soft, furry collars and flowy, feminine tops in moody colors. I'm particularly excited to find a perfect pair of lace-up ankle boots with just a bit of a heel, like these beauties:





Jeffrey Campbell Leather Lace up boots