This post might seem a little strange since I always try keep this blog positive and to leave out my personal problems. I started this blog with the intention of finding a platform for my passions and creative curiosities and not as a place to complain, whine, vent, or divulge [though those type of blogs have their place as well]. However, recently I have found myself feeling strangely sad and alienated, and I was hoping to get some feedback from my wonderful readers, because I know many of you are also bloggers, writers, researchers, artists, and aesthetes...and maybe some of you have had similar issues or thoughts?
When I first started this blog [a year ago!] it was an experiment. I had no idea how long it would last or how devoted I would become. As it turns out, it has been amazing, inspiring, fun, enlightening...and tons and tons of work! I have made friends with so many interesting and talented people from around the world. Sometimes I wish I had a magic wand and could make all of my incredible blog-friends appear right here, all at once, and that we could all sit around drinking tea and chatting about strange, beautiful things!
I guess that is kind of where the alienating part comes in though: while I have so many fellow "virtual" compatriots, I don't actually feel like I have anyone in my life to share many of my interests with. Now don't get me wrong, I have a wonderful boyfriend and fantastic friends, but very few people I actually know look at or give me feedback on my blog. So, I often feel like I have this separate little box that I keep my passions in, and when I'm around friends or family, I just set it aside, because I sense that it is not of interest to them.
My boyfriend reminded me the other day that I did not start this blog in order to create a stronger bond between myself and the people already in my life, but rather as a way to cultivate a new community of people out in the world that have similar interests. While he has a good point, I guess I just assumed subconsciously that the people I am close to would automatically take interest, because it was something that was important to me. What I did not foresee happening was that I would become so passionately attached and serious [in a good way] about the work and ideas I share here every week or that my blog would become such an important part of me, my daily life, and my self-perception. Because of that, I find myself taking it personally that no one I know seems 'impressed' or 'interested' by what I do [this is a Leo trait, LOL!]. While that is slightly embarrassing for me to admit, I feel that it is a legitimate feeling and I have to at least acknowledge that it is there [if not, at least, to overcome it].
So, I guess my question begins here: have any of you had these same issues or these same confusing feelings of fulfillment on the one hand mixed with alienation on the other? Is it reasonable to want the people close to me to take interest and give feedback or should I just come to peace with the idea that this project is a separate endeavor from my day-to-day life?
I feel as if on one end, if I continue to maintain this blog and delve deeper and deeper into my particular interests, that I will just feel more and more sad that I don't have a person in my life to appreciate and share my ideas with, but on the other hand, I feel as if I ignore this part of myself that I will just become disconnected, fake, boring, and unfulfilled. What a ridiculous conundrum!
Thanks so much for your kindness if you read this...I look forward to hearing your thoughts!
Cheers,
Tara
When I first started this blog [a year ago!] it was an experiment. I had no idea how long it would last or how devoted I would become. As it turns out, it has been amazing, inspiring, fun, enlightening...and tons and tons of work! I have made friends with so many interesting and talented people from around the world. Sometimes I wish I had a magic wand and could make all of my incredible blog-friends appear right here, all at once, and that we could all sit around drinking tea and chatting about strange, beautiful things!
I guess that is kind of where the alienating part comes in though: while I have so many fellow "virtual" compatriots, I don't actually feel like I have anyone in my life to share many of my interests with. Now don't get me wrong, I have a wonderful boyfriend and fantastic friends, but very few people I actually know look at or give me feedback on my blog. So, I often feel like I have this separate little box that I keep my passions in, and when I'm around friends or family, I just set it aside, because I sense that it is not of interest to them.
My boyfriend reminded me the other day that I did not start this blog in order to create a stronger bond between myself and the people already in my life, but rather as a way to cultivate a new community of people out in the world that have similar interests. While he has a good point, I guess I just assumed subconsciously that the people I am close to would automatically take interest, because it was something that was important to me. What I did not foresee happening was that I would become so passionately attached and serious [in a good way] about the work and ideas I share here every week or that my blog would become such an important part of me, my daily life, and my self-perception. Because of that, I find myself taking it personally that no one I know seems 'impressed' or 'interested' by what I do [this is a Leo trait, LOL!]. While that is slightly embarrassing for me to admit, I feel that it is a legitimate feeling and I have to at least acknowledge that it is there [if not, at least, to overcome it].
So, I guess my question begins here: have any of you had these same issues or these same confusing feelings of fulfillment on the one hand mixed with alienation on the other? Is it reasonable to want the people close to me to take interest and give feedback or should I just come to peace with the idea that this project is a separate endeavor from my day-to-day life?
I feel as if on one end, if I continue to maintain this blog and delve deeper and deeper into my particular interests, that I will just feel more and more sad that I don't have a person in my life to appreciate and share my ideas with, but on the other hand, I feel as if I ignore this part of myself that I will just become disconnected, fake, boring, and unfulfilled. What a ridiculous conundrum!
Thanks so much for your kindness if you read this...I look forward to hearing your thoughts!
Cheers,
Tara
